Hilariously Absurd ‘Would You Rather’ Questions You’ve NEVER Heard Before”
🔥 Why Read These?
- 100% Original: No recycled “eat a bug” or “sing in public” clichés — just fresh, ridiculous scenarios!
- Categories for Every Mood: From cursed superpowers to sentient toasters, awkward body swaps, and chaotic holidays.
- Guaranteed Laughs: “Would you rather sweat glitter or cry honey?” “Negotiate with a lawyer-sized duck?” The absurdity never ends.
- Perfect for Parties, Icebreakers, or Procrastination: These aren’t your grandma’s WYR questions (unless your grandma loves wrestling chicken-sized elephants).
👇 Keep scrolling for chaos like:
- “Would you rather your WiFi only work when you’re singing?”
- “Fight a dragon allergic to fire or a grumpy unicorn?”
- “Have a boss who speaks only in memes or a teacher who beatboxes lectures?”
💬 Pro Tip: Read these aloud and watch friends/family argue over “socks that squeak like dog toys vs. jackets that sound like lightsabers.” Want even more teen-friendly dilemmas? Check out our Would You Rather Questions for Teens and keep the fun going!
❔99 Would You Rather Questions Funny For Every Mood
Food & Drink
❔1. Would you rather have pizza sauce replaced with ketchup or cheese replaced with whipped cream? 🍕
❔2. Would you rather eat a sandwich made by a raccoon or a smoothie blended by a kangaroo? 🦝
❔3. Would you rather have every meal taste slightly like toothpaste or every drink fizz like soda? 🦷
❔4. Would you rather only eat foods that are the wrong temperature (hot ice cream, cold coffee) or only eat foods that are neon green? 🌡️
❔5. Would you rather have your tongue turn into licorice or your fingers turn into carrot sticks? 👅
Animals
❔6. Would you rather have a pet penguin that follows you everywhere or a pet sloth that rides on your head? 🐧
❔7. Would you rather wrestle a chicken-sized elephant or an elephant-sized chicken? 🐘
❔8. Would you rather speak fluent “dog” but humans hear it as opera singing or speak fluent “cat” but humans hear it as angry rap? 🎤
❔9. Would you rather have a parrot that only repeats your embarrassing thoughts or a goldfish that judges your life choices? 🦜
❔10. Would you rather be chased by 100 ducks with human teeth or 10 geese in tuxedos? 🦆
Superpowers (But Terrible Ones)
❔11. Would you rather have the power to turn invisible but only when no one is looking or the power to fly but only 1 inch off the ground? 👻
❔12. Would you rather sneeze confetti every time you lie or burp glitter every time someone says your name? ✨
❔13. Would you rather read minds but only about what people think of your socks or see the future but only 10 seconds ahead? 🧠
❔14. Would you rather teleport but arrive naked or time-travel but only to awkward moments in your past? ⏳
❔15. Would you rather super strength but only for opening jars or super speed but only when running backward? 💪
Embarrassing Situations
❔16. Would you rather accidentally call your teacher “Mom” in front of the class or accidentally text your crush a rant about pineapples? 👩🏫
❔17. Would you rather trip in public while wearing a dinosaur costume or trip in public while carrying a giant inflatable flamingo? 🦖
❔18. Would you rather have your phone autocorrect “hello” to “I love tacos” forever or have your voice sound like a kazoo every time you say “the”? 🌮
❔19. Would you rather laugh like a hyena during a job interview or hiccup like a cartoon character during a first date? 😂
❔20. Would you rather walk into a glass door in front of your crush or accidentally high-five a stranger thinking they’re your friend? 🚪
Tech & Modern Life
❔21. Would you rather have your search history read aloud at family dinner or have your text messages projected onto a billboard? 📖
❔22. Would you rather your phone only charge when you dance or your Wi-Fi only work when you’re singing? 💃
❔23. Would you rather have emojis appear over your head when you’re emotional or your life have a laugh track like a sitcom? 😅
❔24. Would you rather autocaption all your conversations like a badly translated movie or have your life narrated by a bored GPS voice? 🗣
❔25. Would you rather lose all your followers except your grandma or gain 1 million followers who only comment with potato emojis? 👵
Body Swaps & Weird Biology
❔26. Would you rather wake up with your hair styled like a 1700s wig or your eyebrows shaped like question marks? 🎩
❔27. Would you rather sweat maple syrup or cry honey? 🍯
❔28. Would you rather have feet that smell like fresh popcorn or armpits that smell like lavender cupcakes? 🍿
❔29. Would you rather grow a new tooth every time you tell a lie or lose a tooth every time you say “um”? 🦷
❔30. Would you rather have fingernails that glow in the dark or ears that change color with your mood? 💅
Fantasy & Alternate Realities
❔31. Would you rather live in a world where clouds are cotton candy or raindrops are lemonade? 🍬
❔32. Would you rather fight a dragon that’s allergic to fire or a unicorn with a bad attitude? 🐉
❔33. Would you rather be a character in a video game controlled by a toddler or a character in a movie directed by a pigeon? 🎮
❔34. Would you rather have a magic remote that pauses time but only for squirrels or a wand that turns objects into cheese but only cheddar? 🧀
❔35. Would you rather ride a giant hamster wheel to work or commute on a skateboard pulled by corgis? 🐹
Work & School
❔36. Would you rather have a boss who communicates only in memes or a teacher who lectures in beatboxing? 🤣
❔37. Would you rather present to your class wearing pajamas or give a work presentation with a parrot on your shoulder? 🛌
❔38. Would you rather your resume accidentally list “professional napper” as your job title or your LinkedIn profile photo be a potato? 😴
❔39. Would you rather work in an office where the chairs are whoopee cushions or a school where the bell sound is a goat scream? 💨
❔40. Would you rather have to apologize to a photocopier for jamming it or negotiate a raise with a potted plant? 🖨
Holidays & Celebrations
❔41. Would you rather receive a Valentine’s Day card from a sentient toaster or a Christmas gift from a grumpy elf? 🍞
❔42. Would you rather attend a birthday party for a vacuum cleaner or a wedding between two AI chatbots? 🤖
❔43. Would you rather trick-or-treat dressed as a sentient loaf of bread or carol in July wearing a full Santa suit? 🎅
❔44. Would you rather have Halloween canceled forever or have to wear a pumpkin on your head every Thanksgiving? 🎃
❔45. Would you rather New Year’s Eve countdowns always end at “2” or fireworks only explode silently? 🎆
Random Chaos
❔46. Would you rather have to say “I’m a little teapot” before every sentence or end every sentence with “according to my cat”? 🫖
❔47. Would you rather have a personal theme song that plays when you enter a room or a victory dance you must do after every small win? 🎵
❔48. Would you rather replace all doors with bead curtains or all stairs with slides? 🚪
❔49. Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized lawyers or 1 lawyer-sized duck? ⚖️
❔50. Would you rather have to answer every question with a rhyme or speak only in questions for a week? 🎤
Clothing & Fashion
❔51. Would you rather wear socks with individual toe pockets or gloves with six fingers? 🧦
❔52. Would you rather your shoes squeak like dog toys with every step or your jacket zip sound like a lightsaber? 👟
❔53. Would you rather accidentally wear your pants backward to a job interview or show up to a wedding in pajamas claiming it’s “formal sleepwear”? 👖
❔54. Would you rather have all your clothes shrink by 10% every wash or permanently smell like a mix of sunscreen and wet cardboard? 👕
❔55. Would you rather your hat float 6 inches above your head or your shoes leave rainbow footprints everywhere? 🌈
Travel & Transportation
❔56. Would you rather commute to work on a unicycle or a pogo stick? 🚲
❔57. Would you rather your car only play nursery rhymes at full volume or your GPS narrate your life like a soap opera? 🎶
❔58. Would you rather take a cross-country road trip with a goat in the backseat or fly in a plane where the pilot is a nervous first-time flyer? 🐐
❔59. Would you rather every traffic light turn red as you approach or your GPS voice become increasingly passive-aggressive? 🚦
❔60. Would you rather ride a rollercoaster designed by a toddler or a Ferris wheel operated by a sloth? 🎢
Relationships & Social Life
❔61. Would you rather your parents set you up on a date with a sentient Alexa or your grandma’s neighbor’s pet iguana? 📱
❔62. Would you rather have to introduce yourself in rhyme at every party or communicate only through interpretive dance for a week? 🎤
❔63. Would you rather your best friend secretly be a undercover spy or your dog secretly be the mayor of your town? 🕵️♂️
❔64. Would you rather accidentally “like” your crush’s 5-year-old selfies or accidentally send them a voice note of you singing opera in the shower? 👍
❔65. Would you rather date someone who only speaks in riddles or someone who laughs like a donkey? 🧩
Sports & Fitness
❔66. Would you rather play basketball against a giraffe or soccer against a kangaroo? 🏀
❔67. Would you rather do yoga with cats climbing on you or lift weights while a parrot critiques your form? 🧘♀️
❔68. Would you rather sweat glitter during workouts or have your gym clothes magically turn into tutus? ✨
❔69. Would you rather run a marathon where aid stations only serve bubble tea or cycle a race where your bike horn plays “Baby Shark”? 📢
❔70. Would you rather have a referee follow you in life blowing a whistle at minor mistakes or a coach who shouts advice at you through a megaphone in public? 🤖
Science Fiction & Tech Fails
❔71. Would you rather have a robot clone that does your chores but loudly judges your life or a hologram assistant that glitches into embarrassing poses? 🤖
❔72. Would you rather aliens invade Earth to challenge humans to dance-offs or to compete in trivia nights about cats? 👽
❔73. Would you rather your smart home AI develop sarcasm or your phone autocorrect “okay” to “I am a potato”? 🥔
❔74. Would you rather live in a VR world where gravity works sideways or a reality where everyone’s voice is helium-high? 🕶️
❔75. Would you rather have a self-driving car that’s terrified of bridges or a drone delivery service run by seagulls? 🚗
Gross-Out Scenarios
❔76. Would you rather sneeze mayonnaise or sweat mustard? 🤧
❔77. Would you rather find a hair in every meal you eat or a single eyelash that magically reappears in your eye? 👁️
❔78. Would you rather your toothpaste taste like onion or your shampoo smell like wet dog? 🧅
❔79. Would you rather have to lick a public handrail once or high-five 100 strangers with clammy hands? 🚧
❔80. Would you rather your socks always feel slightly damp or your underwear static-cling to everything? 🧦
Arts & Creativity
❔81. Would you rather perform in a school play where all lines are replaced with burps or a talent show where your act is folding fitted sheets? 🎭
❔82. Would you rather paint masterpieces that only chickens appreciate or write novels that only your pet goldfish reads? 🐔
❔83. Would you rather play a kazoo in a symphony orchestra or air guitar in a heavy metal band? 🎷
❔84. Would you rather sculpt statues out of Jell-O or compose songs using only fart noises? 🍮
❔85. Would you rather have your selfies turned into medieval portraits or your TikTok dances recreated by Renaissance painters? 🖼
Time Travel & Paradoxes
❔86. Would you rather go back in time and accidentally invent the sandwich or go to the future where socks are the official currency? 🥪
❔87. Would you rather meet your 5-year-old self, who thinks you’re a clown or your 80-year-old self, who roasts your life choices? 👶
❔88. Would you rather live a day in reverse or relive the same hour for a week? 🔄
❔89. Would you rather discover your ancestor was a court jester or a professional cabbage thrower? 🤡
❔90. Would you rather time travel to the 1800s and explain memes or to the 3000s and fail to explain trees? 🌳
Nature & Outdoors
❔91. Would you rather camp in a forest where the trees whisper gossip or a beach where the waves hum show tunes? 🌳
❔92. Would you rather have a picnic attacked by ants carrying tiny flags or rained on by sudden localized gravy? 🐜
❔93. Would you rather hike a mountain that randomly moos like a cow or kayak a river that flows backward every 10 minutes? 🐮
❔94. Would you rather garden where all your plants grow upside-down or fish in a lake where the fish heckle you? 🌱
❔95. Would you rather the sun set in rainbow colors or the moon play lullabies at night? 🌈
Final Chaos Round
❔96. Would you rather have your life narrated by David Attenborough or a hyperactive game show host? 🎙️
❔97. Would you rather fight a sentient piñata filled with bees or negotiate with a vending machine that hates nickels? 🪅
❔98. Would you rather be followed by a marching band everywhere for a week or have your life sound tracked by suspenseful movie music? 🎺
❔99. Would you rather every time you sneeze, you teleport 3 feet left or every time you cough, you temporarily turn into a llama? 🦙
